I intend not much more than to reproduce stuff from everyday observation; every bit of it is attributable to perpetual boredom.
- Hindi Commentary during a Cricket match
With the world cup season setting in, a broken leg prohibiting me from venturing out, stupid Pakistani, Sri Lankan or Bangladeshi cricketers sitting as English commentators, and an unfailing respect for trippy stuff, i tuned in to the channel which had Hindi commentators narrating the match. And I thank God for all this, for I would never have had discovered such gems otherwise. I won't translate, the feel would be lost. Actually, even a written description doesn't capture the entire fun; the poetic fashions of delivery are something to be heard in person and not in hear say.
- (The ball's given to a new bowler): "Bowler ko dekhke lagtaa nahi hai ki woh kabhi wicket le sakte hain". (Incidentally, the bowler did take a wicket the very next ball.)
- (On a run-out appeal to the third umpire; the batsman smiled a little 'cause he perhaps knew he wasn't out): "Batsman itna jo muskura rahe hain, kya gham hai jisko chhupa rahe hain".
- (Sri Lanka was losing to Pakistan): "Sri Lanka sharaab mein gham ko pee jayegi aaj."
- (A Pakistani batsman hits a boundary): "Iss ballebaaz ne chunauti sweekaar kar lee hai ki ab sab ko chun chun ke maarunga."
- (18 runs needed off the last over for the Lankans): "Yahi kahaa jaa saktaa hai ki picture abhi baaki hai mere dost."
- (A review of an LBW appeal is made to the third umpire): "Abhi doodh ka doodh aur paani ka paani ho jayega".
- (Zaheer Khan has just picked up 2 welcome wickets for India): "England ki team soch rahi hai ki kya ho gaya...kya se kya ho gaya...".
- (Lasith Malinga had taken a wicket in the last ball of an over; takes 2 in the first two balls of the next. The Hindi commentator is obviously ignorant of the fact that this qualifies as a hat-trick): "Iss bowler ne toh batsman ki raaton ki neend aur din ka chayn le liya hai.....ab teesri ball, Malinga hat-trick par" (just then the board shows that Malinga has taken a hat-trick): "balki Malinga ne toh hat-trick le lee hai... ab samajh mein aaya ki audience mein itne jashn ka mahaul kyun chhaya hua hai."
- (So there's this Canadian bowler of Pakistani origin, who is bowling quite well against Pakistan): "Jis desh mein unka janam hua hai, aaj usi desh ko pareshan kar rahe hain ye bowler."
There are more, which I can't remember. Inputs will very hopefully be added as this world cup season progresses.
