Monday, January 23, 2023

Hobbies

On a rare holiday Monday, it occurred to me that I have precisely three hobbies. And they require varying levels of finances to be kept alive. 

The first, Music, doesn't require money. It requires a talent that I suppose I have, presently, though fading as age catches up. And it requires skill that I've acquired, that'll stay with me, hopefully till the end.  

The next is Reading. It requires some amount of money, but not something that's unaffordable. And Tsundoku in my family has ensured that there's never a dearth of reading material.

The third is traveling. Here again I use a foreign word to precisely describe my kind of traveling - Fernweh. Born out of an urge to see the world before my life in it ends. And that requires money. Money that seems presently to be of unattainable proportions.

So I'll keep myself busy with the first two for the time being, till I come into resources, hopefully in this lifetime, to pursue the third. I doubt today if I'll ever be in the physical or financial state to pursue all three at the same time. I once did, and hope to again, someday. As Dumas has written in The Count of Monte Christo, "Until the day when God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom lies contained in these two words - Wait and Hope."

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Deconstructing the British stooge: Two sample songs.

In his rather infamous recent posts on popular social media, Retired Supreme Court Judge Markandey Katju has repeatedly called Rabindranath Tagore a 'British Stooge'. As a mark of true grit, he has stood by his opinion, despite opposition, despite debates, despite people pointing out obvious flaws in his views, and despite reason.

As a person who began to form his first thoughts in English, sadly remaining unaware of his 'mother tongue' (the term is arguable) for a long time, and having been recently inducted into the world of Bengali Literature, I felt like going beyond racial accusations on Facebook, to explore the original works of the author, to see how low this British Stooge had stooped in his anti-nation propaganda. 

Tagore's songs are published in a collection called 'Gitabitan'. The songs are categorized into Puja ("Devotion"), Swadesh ("The Motherland"), Prem ("Love"), Prakriti ("Nature") and such other categories. Often there is an overlap due to the double-meanings, but we shall avoid that. Swadesh comprises forty six songs, written about the motherland - songs in admiration of the country, some lamenting the fact that the nation is shackled and needs to be woken up, some propelling the countryman to arise and fight for the cause of his country's freedom! Two of the forty six songs are national anthems of India and Bangladesh. But Tagore was a British stooge, and Katju is an Honourable Judge. (I perhaps am a British stooge too, for so shamelessly borrowing Shakespeare's rhetoric). 

A stooge is defined as a subordinate used by another to do unpleasant routine work. (Source: Google). 

I do not wish to speak about the songs at length, since a blog post hardly does justice to recount how much unpleasant stooge work was done by Tagore! However, two songs are representative, of what Tagore wished to convey to his countrymen (on behalf of the British government, of course!) I shall attempt at translating them here. But I might be an utter failure. Partly because of my incompetence at translating the language, and partly because no language can be fully translated in order to do justice to it. 

Song One:

" Roilo bole rakhle kaare, hukum tomaar pholbey kawbey?
Tomaar taana-taani tikbey na bhai, rawbaar jeta shetaai rawbey.
Jaa-khushi tai korte paaro, Gaayer jorey raakho maaro - 
Jaanr gaaye shob byathaa baaje Tini ja shawn shetaai shobey.
Onek tomaar taka-kodi, onek dawra onek dori,
Onek Ashwo, Onek kori, Onek tomaar aache-bhobe.
Bhaabchho hobey tumi'i ja chaao, JagatTake tumi'i naachao,
Dekhbe hothat noyon khule hoyna jeta, shetao hobey."


Who did you enslave and keep, And when would your dominion bear fruit?
Your dragging and pulling won't succeed, What is to stay shall persevere.
Try as you might, Use brute force to keep and kill,
You wound the Creator, and whatever He endures will only stay.
You have the riches, and you have the rope,
You have horses and men, You have it all in your domain.
And so you fancy your rule shall prevail, and the world will dance to your tune,
You shall wake up suddenly to realize that the unimaginable has happened.

Song Two:

"Bidhir bandhon kaatbe tumi emon shoktimaan -
Tumi ki emni shoktimaan!
Aamader bhaanga-poda tomaar haate emon obhimaan -
Tomaader emni obhimaan.

Chirodin taanbey pichhe, chirodin rakhbe niche -
Eto bol nai re tomaar, shobe na shei taan.

Shashone jotoi ghero, aache bol durbolero,
Haw'o na jotoi bodo, achen Bhogobaan.

Aamder shokti mere toraao bachbi ne re, 
Bojha tor bhari holei dubbey torikhaan."


You try to severe Destiny's bond, Are you that mighty -
That mighty are you!
Our creation and destruction is in your hands, Such is your vanity -
Such is your fallacious vanity!

You shall drag us backwards, you shall subdue us forever, 
Your strength is not so great, your pull is not so strong.

No matter how much you enslave us, even the weak have strength in them,
No matter how high and mighty you are, there is the Almighty.

You shall not survive by trying to crush our strength,
Your vessel shall sink when your load can't be borne any more.

_____

The tunes in the songs have a folk flavour. Just to appeal to the masses for whom they were meant. I realized how difficult it is to translate, and how very impossible for me. And I did not wish to prove anything by translating a sample study of songs. But what irked me was the ignorance, the sheer ignorance of statements made. That from a former judge of the highest judicial body in the country. I wish judicial mind prevails over judges, and not judgemental, opinionated bigotry. Not to say in the least that I hope there are other stooges like Tagore, people who do the 'unpleasant, routine work' of spreading the dream of a truly independent India.

"We are in a cave of ignorance, bound by the shackles of selfishness and stupidity."
- Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan, Philosophy of India

P.S. I almost forgot to write about Tagore's novels, poems, dance-dramas and short stories, concerning the nation's freedom from the British rule, whose stooge he was. 

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Aakrosh: To be or not to be

I had chanced upon the story of Aakrosh (1980, Dir: Govind Nihalani) in a book about Bollywood villains. Even as I read a two page discussion about the projection of social events in the late 70s, the story gripped me. Declaration of a bandh by some political party gave me the occasion to watch it today. I remain indebted to the Communist Party of India (Marxist) for such endeavours in the name of revolution. 

Firstly, the Plot:

Aakrosh is about a tribal man, Bhiku Lahanya, (Om Puri) charged with the murder of his wife (Smita Patil). He refuses to speak to even his lawyer (Naseeruddin Shah) about the incident, but keeps staring. Shah is initially shown as the timid, wary lawyer, having lost all hope of his first case even surviving. His senior (Amrish Puri), public prosecutor Dushane, convinces Shah of the cast iron case, and Shah is unable to make any headway. The tribal family refuses to cooperate, and the locals force Shah to stop his inquiries. A man, claiming to be organizing the tribals to fight for their rights, observes on. Shah requests him to intercede on his behalf to the tribals. 

This organiser is the cause of much chagrin among the townsfolk playing bridge at the local club, barring Dushane (who hails from a tribal background). This includes the DSP, a doctor, a Corporator and his henchman, and a contractor. Shah perceives a threat to his life, and is appalled when others see it as paranoia. Nevertheless, he receives police protection.

Bhiku remains stoic as ever; in fact he hardly ever blinks, as he stares on at people giving evidence to corroborate the fact that he in fact murdered his wife whose body he would trade to pay off his debts. He reveals nothing to his lawyer Bhaskar Kulkarni (Shah) even as the latter tries to gather some evidence; any evidence would do.

Finally the organizer brings in the news to Bhaskar one night, telling him that Bhiku's wife had been raped and murdered by the Corporator, the henchman, the contractor and the doctor. They had done it to prove a point to the tribal who was proving to be a rebel. Bhiku had gone to save his wife, but had been unsuccessful, and roped in. There is no evidence. 

This organizer is taken care of by the culprits, and Bhaskar is on his own. He survives an attack on him, and is fighting tooth and nail when Bhiku's father dies, leaving behind a daughter and Bhiku's baby. The prayer for Bhiku being allowed to attend his father's cremation is granted by the Court.

Bhiku stares on at his sister and his baby during the cremation. A fellow tribal woman takes the baby from the sister's hands and little does anybody guess before Bhiku runs in and kills his sister with an axe. Before the guards can reach, the girl has been slain. Bhiku's cries are unstoppable. As the guards hold him back, Bhiku bursts out with the screech that has all the force of his silence over the months of sleepless nights in the jail. 

The last scene shows Bhaskar asking Dushane to help, which meets with Dushane's pragmatic reply that such things happen, and especially with women, more especially with tribal women. They are nothing but accidents in the eye of law, unless otherwise proved. "He did what he did, because otherwise there would be another rape, another murder, which would be hushed up as an accident. I would take up the second case for Bhiku too. It is possible that they kill me. Would you treat that as an accident too?" Dushane is forced to give in, and admits so. Bhaskar thanks him and leaves.


Samaapt.


Analysing the sub-plot:

Aakrosh brings to light a number of issues. The society, the law, the marginalized sections. People have drawn parallels from Russian movies I haven't seen. But the film does remind one of the dark realism in Rabindranath Tagore's Shasti (Punishment), where the wife is sent to the gallows because of her husband's evidence for a murder she hasn't committed. The wife in Tagore's story is so dumbstruck that she offers no defence; she has the look of hopelessness from human society in her eyes. 

The ending resounds the screech of the madman in Saadat Hasan Manto's Toba Tek Singh, when he is asked to shift to India after partition. The film is a depiction of Honore de Balzac about the law being like a spider's web through which the big flies pass and the little ones get caught. To a young lawyer like your writer, it does pose questions he has faced and will continue to face: What is justice and who is it for? Does the law have to see more than a transparent truth? Do we step back in the face of threat? Is the law created by humans, humane? 

The proceedings in the court, and Bhiku's silent observations might have been inspired from Albert Camus' The Stranger, where the man accused of murder is held guilty based on evidence that he is heartless not to have cried at his mother's funeral. He silently wonders which crime he's being punished for. 

The organizer speaks of revolution, and how the social systems prejudge and prejudice, and how there ought to be a revolution. The uncooperative attitude of the tribals and the lack of faith in the system is similar to the idea put forward in Bunuel's Viridiana - leave our society alone. But can it be left alone? Is the tribal society not engulfed (and I daresay, endangered) by civilization?

The tribals in the last scene have their heads bowed, not out of shame but out of fear. But no one is ready to protest or stand up for the rights. This leaves Bhiku to take the drastic step that he does. But is this subdued attitude for eternity?

"O masters, lords and rulers in all lands,
How will the future reckon with this Man?
How answer his brute question in that hour
When whirlwinds of rebellion shake all shores?
How will it be with kingdoms and with kings -
With those who shaped him to the thing he is - 
When this dumb Terror shall rise to judge the world,
After the silence of the centuries?"

- Edwin Markham, The Man with the Hoe


The acting and the direction:

Aakrosh is one of those Indian movies that would make the world stand up and take notice. I guess this review is thirty years too late, and I don't know if the world has known it enough. But then, the director didn't perhaps make it to be marketed. As the song plays in the background in the small hotel, "Jalaa do isey phook daalo yeh duniya...". The song is, Yeh duniya agar mil bhi jaaye toh kya ho? from the film Pyaasa (1958). What if you attain recognition in a pretentious world?

The color brown attains significance. The multicolored 70s were making way for a darker era, and that was evident in the clothes too. The 80s would be defined by darker colors in clothes and society.

Amidst the third rate court room scenes that most Bollywood movies project, Aakrosh is a welcome exception. It is so true, so accurate, so believable. The research is so detailed that even a perfectly legal argument on hearsay evidence is proposed in a scene. The court is not projected as either the temple of justice or a forum for hypocrisy, but just an institution that is the offshoot of society.

I have not seen a lot of examples of method acting, but Aakrosh definitely is one. Be it Naseeruddin Shah, mastering the journey of the young lawyer from one of timid hopelessness to that of intrepidity, or Om Puri as the tribal. Amrish Puri is extremely measured in his nuances. 

To conclude a review written out of sheer awe, I sincerely believe most people should watch Aakrosh. If not to change society, then just to know it.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Sketch of a Moonlit Melancholy

Vagator. As he sat on one of the lonely rocks at Vagator beach, Shankar experienced the quiet he had been yearning to feel all his life. He carelessly dipped his feet to touch the frothy waves, and saw the moon in the distance. Did it look even more beautiful and melancholic tonight? That must be a nonsensical assumption. 

Vagator is always deserted in the evenings. No one takes the pains of descending the rocky steps, to come to a beach  which does not even have a cafeteria, let alone music. Such beaches are left to Destiny's care in North Goa. But Shankar was alone tonight. He would not have cared about being alone, but he additionally felt the pangs of loneliness tonight. This, on a crazy moonlit night was unbearable. In his mind echoed a composition by Isaac Albeniz, which Shankar assumed must have been an ode to such a night years before in some far away land, where the moon had been equally playful.

The waves kissed Shankar's cheeks, and he remembered the first time he had been kissed by Krishna. The first kiss is always the most unforgettable one. A string of incidents began to resurface before Shankar's eyes. - the times spent on phone calls in the terrace under the moonlight, the late night tea and romance at the lonely college cafeteria, the holding of hands and walking under the towering skyscrapers of Bangalore. Isaac Albeniz grew louder and more painful. The moon had risen a little more now, and it stared straight above the horizon, looming large.

Did the moon have a pockmark? Was it a tear drop, and just to make it visible, it was black? In any case, the moon, the inspiration behind innumerable poems and songs, was also blemished. So was love, and so was man. 

It was Krishna's marriage today. Shankar had  run off, avoiding the invitation, because he could not see Krishna get married, as no lover  has ever  been able to see. Krishna had told him only a week back. He was being forced to marry, since his family now needed a child, a next generation. Marrying Shankar was not possible. It was illegal. And moreover, the ultimate result would have been disastrous, since no progeny could have been begotten. That was the summum bonum of love. Progeny. To take the race forward.

Shankar had no idea of what Krishna was saying. What played before his eyes when the dangerous fangs of rationale were being raised by Krishna was the times they had spent in each other's arms. Shankar had cried on one such occasion, probably the only time he had cried after his mother had passed away when he was sixteen. And today Krishna, who he had loved all these years, who he thought had loved him all these years, spoke about the black and white end of love. 

And thus Krishna would get married today. To Revathi. But what if they fell in love and still failed to beget a child? Would he divorce her then? How Shankar wished today that even a man could bear a child! Was not Ayyappan the offspring of two male gods in mythology?

The moon began to laugh steadily before his eyes. Ants hiding from the cold waves inside the rocks began to climb on his arms. He sat drinking his last bitter, and thought of the abuses his father had hurled on him, upon coming to know who Shankar was in love with. The same father, who had loved him with all his heart once, now called him a eunuch. Did father also then love Shankar because he was to carry his race forward? And what if the child so born was a eunuch?

And as he thought of such questions, he assumed that it was at this moment that Krishna was consummating his marriage to achieve the noblest of ends man has known. Was the moon mocking Shankar? Was the teardrop he had seen actually a surreptitious smile? Was the moon gay, or was it straight? Had it fallen in love? Had it been hurt? Did it not hopelessly circle around the earth, never being able to unite with it? Except in shadows perhaps, and even then it was called an eclipse, something to be looked down upon as ominous by everyone.

It must be past midnight, Shankar thought.  As he climbed down the rock, he took a last swig of the beer and threw the bottle away. He looked at the moon and smiled back, because he could not cry. He smiled at the moon, and thought that perhaps, the moon was sympathetic to him. Despite being beautiful, it was lonely. Thinking, sinking, he walked on towards the sea.

"Then he stumbles as he's leaving, and he wonders if the reason,
Is the beer that's in his belly, or the tear that's in his eye."
- Kris Kristofferson, Casey's Last Ride.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Please Your Lordship

I often have to go to courtroom no. 24 at the High Court of Calcutta to observe one of the proceedings between the Birlas and the Lodhas, being the advocate on record for the former. There are hundred such applications pending on the part of both sides, which are fighting for property worth the Gross Domestic Product of certain countries I am sure. Such applications are responsible for my bread and butter and whisky.

These matters are always argued by Senior Counsels, since one cannot take a chance with lesser mortals. And they are almost always 'specially fixed' (let's say, at 2 p.m.) for arguments by these Counsels, since once cannot take a chance, unlike cases of lesser mortals, which may take years to appear on a cause list, and further years to be heard, and yet further years to get disposed of. They never end, since our wonderful systems of appeals ensure that complete justice is meted out, to both parties. The judiciary often seems to be like the intermediary monkey taking the responsibility of dividing a piece of bread between two fighting cats, and to ensure complete division, biting off the surplus portion on anyone's share. In the process of ensuring absolute division, it is discovered later that the piece of bread has ceased to exist, but the fight goes on. 

On one such occasion, just before my matter had to start, I saw an elderly man, slowly edging towards the court. He must have been in his 60s, wearing middle-class clothes and patent black-rimmed glasses. He went before the court and said he wanted a date for hearing of his matter, since he was not being issued his retirement benefits and was in considerable difficulty. The Judge again asked him the urgency involved for Him to hear his matter earlier than the rest of the matters, and the Birla matters. He pleaded that he had to come from Madhyamgram everyday for his case, which by the way takes around three hours by train from Calcutta. The Judge finally ruled that He cannot decide a case out of turn, and since it was appearing in the cause list, his case would ultimately be taken up. The man bowed and left, unsure of what he was to do next.

I suppose he must have got hold of one of my fellow brothers from the profession to fight his case, since on the next occasion I saw him in court, he again slowly edged in front of the Court and said that his lawyer had not appeared that day, and asked what could be done about it. "Your lawyer hasn't come, is it? Are you an officer of the court?" the Judge asked. The man, who perhaps was not even sure about what an 'officer of the court' was, nodded his head in the negative, with hopeful eyes, as if suggesting that he could argue his case himself, since he anyway knew his plight more than his lawyer did. "If you are not an officer of this Court, you have no locus standi to be heard", the Court observed. The man, in obvious ignorance of the Latin expression the Courts freely assume and use, stood there, not knowing what he was supposed to do. "You have no right to be heard", came the Judge's stern voice again. The man bowed again, and left, and Senior Counsel Mr. Mitra commenced his submissions in Birla versus Lodha. "May it please Your Lordship", he began.

A halt at the past

While purposelessly surfing television channels on a rare free Sunday morning, I tuned in to Doordarshan on a random whim. I guess it was more out of curiosity than anything else that I thought of revisiting the only television channel of my childhood. Had it changed with years? Possibly, I thought. Definitely I didn't expect Surabhi or Chandrakanta to be shown. 

But they were broadcasting a show called 'Chanakya' at around that time of the Sunday morning. Quite surprisingly, Chanakya had Chandrakanta-like qualities (I don't mean the characters here; I mean the show). It showed characters in that exact semi-darkness that I was wont to watching as a child. The actors spoke in semi-Sanskrit, as if a purer form of Hindi necessarily posed a closer depiction of those times. Be that as it may. 

The next show was an interview of Khayyam, music director of an equivalent past glory as Doordarshan itself. By this time, my entire family, comprising my parents and my aunt, had joined me in being glued. They spoke about past movies in the show, and yesteryears, and how there was no music these days, about how everything that happened these days was 'nangaa naach'. 

However, I just thought then, when was the last time when my entire family saw anything on the television for that long together? We were not only watching the show, but also talking among ourselves - another rarity these days in commercial nuclear families. I remembered the discussions I had with my colleagues - about how we had our own favorites. I had Alif Laila on Friday night at 9:30, someone else had Superhit Muqabla on Saturday evening. 

Unlike the 90s, one now had a gamut of consumerist choices of channels to choose from - soaps showing women in silk sarees slapping one another, news channels broadcasting breaking news, Hindi-dubbed Telugu movies, and so on. Yet, we did not agree on a common interest, unlike the forced situation of yore when we would happily watch the only option we had. 

We kept watching the show and I kept evaluating in my head about the situations of movie-making gone wrong. Having made documentaries on similar budgets out of college funds, I knew the low end camera and sound techniques involved due to paucity of budget, the heavily amateurish editing, and so on. In essence, the thought process behind a Doordarshan documentary. Time had moved on, and one saw evolved processes of interview-shooting now. People didn't watch Doordarshan anymore; no Sir, not even in small towns. The interview that was conducted in an atypically Doordarshan manner finally ended, and we got back to our 2014 lives. But not before watching Renuka Shahane and Siddhartha Kak as anchors on the next show.

I suddenly felt as if I had accidentally stumbled upon a past step, stopped for a while, given a smile, and proceeded with my onward journey.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

The Myth about Mythology

Mythology (noun): A philosophy which so-called religious fanatics base as an excuse to cause destruction of human faith.

You would see the omnipotence of mythology pervading through today's society. And it is often, mistakenly, linked to religion. By religion I would mean old texts, beliefs, dogmas, dastoors, indoctrination. It is used to terrorize, partition, kill, ravage and rape the human essence - human spirit.

But look at the word closely. Mythology comes from the Latin Mythos, the same word that gives rise to the term 'mithya' in Hindi. Mithya would mean that which is false. Or 'myth', which means, "a widely held but false belief or idea". Of course, what is 'false' has a different theory altogether. The concept of the absolute truth is perhaps in fact, a 'myth', and thus the argument becomes circular.

But suffice it to say that Mythology stems from myth? If that be so, why not view mythology as yet another compendium of stories. Most of them are interesting to hear. Fables, like Amar Chitra Katha, or Aesop's. And some early religious texts that are not exactly stories but considered Mythology are interesting to read. If for nothing else, then the beauty of understanding a language. I wish at times that I knew Sanskrit. Like I wish I knew Latin. Like we know, ingrained in them are the foundations of present-day languages like English, Spanish or Hindi. Wouldn't it be great to know the origin of a river that has flown for centuries past? The source of a river is the purest part of it. It is not convoluted by clogging hair, washing power Nirma, sacred threads, or heaps of mud that are the result of immersion of Hindu gods.

Coming back to the richness of language and meaning of primal languages, consider for example, the Gayatri Mantra. Google its meaning, and its translation, and read up a little more on its significance. Maybe you will realize the 'Bhur Bhuva Swahah' gives rise to the powerful expression which could mean a conjunction of the earth and ether, it could mean the essence of life - being creation, preservation and destruction, it could mean 'existence, consciousness and bliss', which is, 'sat-chit-anand' ("Satchidanand"), and it could mean an all-encompassing term - God. 

I am not for once saying that reciting this for a hundred and eight times near a river makes you attain salvation. That theory has also been propounded. And therein lies my first problem with the inherent problematic nature of Mythology. 

My second problem lies with its usage to state the 'truth',  when the epistemological and lingual origins lie in a word denoting falsehood. And as I said, who knows what is THE truth? Is there one?

And then you derive notions from Mythology to talk about nonsensical terms like culture. You ban homosexuality on the pretext that it is 'unknown' to 'our' 'culture'. We shall note how problematic these terms are.

  1. 'Our' - What do you mean by 'our'? Are you a Hindu? A Muslim? A Zoroastrian? If you say your 'culture' is irrespective of Hindu or Zoroastrian, then you are a liar. A Hindu God (Indra) is the Zoroastrian Devil. Both Hindus and Zoroastrians are part of India. If you say Zoroastrians are not, I insist you try tracing the "Berry Pulao" anywhere else apart from Britannia on Dadabhai Naoroji Street in Bombay. Next. Considering you are a Hindu. A majority. Are you an Aryan? Are you a Vedic Aryan? Do you trace your roots back to the Indus Valley Civilization? If it's the third, then are your gods Shiva and Shakti? If it's the second, then are your Gods Surya, Vayu and Agni as well? If you are not sure, then you yourself are a hybrid of previous races. Then why the fuss about 'our'? What is yours, by your account? The Rgveda had 33 gods. By the later vedas, there were apparently 33 Crore. Was there an equal population explosion in heaven then? OK, so you do not have an answer to 'our'. So then why do you say the Muslim is a foreigner? Is not the Aryan from Iran? Have you been to the British Museum to verify? And what is so Indian in 'our'? What was India before the 19th century? Is there even a resemblance of the present geographical map anywhere before the 19th century?
  2. 'Culture' - What is culture? If you are not sure about identity, if you have an existential crisis, then how do you determine culture? Do classical ragas invented by later musicians, meaning musicians of this century not form part of our culture? 
  3. 'Unknown' - Ayyappan (he is also one of 'your' Gods), was born of Vishnu and Shiva. I am sure you are googling him now. Anyway, so, was that not homosexuality? What did you think it was? Lawn tennis?


Well, so this was so much about mythology. Yet, you claim your culture, your religion, your God, your law on the basis of your culture, on the basis of mythology. 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Now Nonsensical Old Entertainer

[I have mostly liked friends who've said I am boring. For two reasons. A) For the element of frankness involved in their statement, which makes them genuine. B) And more importantly, for the ability of judgment of character. They can see truer sides to my character.
Actually add one more reason. C) Most importantly, for their lack of hunger for entertainment.] 

To the world of so-called friends mostly, I am akin to their black and white television sets which they so keenly saw with their families in the 1980s. The whole family sat and was entertained by Hum Log, Ramayan and Gitanjali Aiyar's news reading in English. 

And then consumerism happened. We made money, color came in, the cable TV did, Ekta Kapoor brought in the crooked non-existent sides of a family. Cut to 2000s, people had taken a fancy to watching bad-assery of the television. Every Hindi soap that you saw now needed to have a female who would be the epitome of all the bad that there is in the world. Women, wives of industrialists, roamed around in Kanjeevarams in their bathrooms, and plotted either how to get married twice, or poison another woman's milk. TRPs rose. People didn't care about innocence; they suddenly abhorred watching innocence on TV. There wouldn't be any Chitrahaar or Chandrakanta anymore. The sensible man said that such innocence in today's world was impractical. They wanted to watch slices of real life, like I have just mentioned. 

But I guess I am digressing from the topic. With the ushering of color television entertainment, the black and white TV was backdated. Now you badly felt to have a remote to control your entertainer from afar. The Black and White TV remembered lines from Don McLean's Castles in the Air,
"I'm bowing out, I need a second chance".

The Black and White TV had not in fact ceased to be less entertaining. Yes, it was growing old and needed a bit of caring. But the viewer was too bored. "You cannot afford to be bored by a device meant to entertain!" said he. Newer, colorful, better looking models had taken its place. It was trash now, meant either to be dumped or sold. 

It was not so much as even glanced at. Conscious attempts were made to forget the chapter of the black and white TV from human memory. How fickle human affection is! Just some years back, the black and white TV thought now, you had asked your hated neighbour at the cost of your prestige whether you could catch a glimpse of me. Now you avoided it, more vehemently than ever.

People had moved distances too. Not only did they have no time for their old friend, they didn't even have time for one another. There were separate entertainment devices. Like the one on which you are reading this blog right now. 

I have not sold my old BPL television set. I have not 'bought' a new one. It shall leave me when it decides to end its life. But till then, it would continue to be my companion. I wish I could know what it felt like. I wish it could have feelings, and it could emote. I wish it would write a blog.  

On second thoughts, I am glad it can't do any of the things I just mentioned. 

I just remembered these lines from Mera Naam Joker:
"Kehta hai Joker, Saara Zamaana,
Aadhi Haqeeqat, Aadha Fasaana,
Chashma Utaaro, Phir Dekho Yaaron,
 Duniya Nayi Hai, Chehra Puraana."

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Nostalging about Nonsense

On Thursday evening, as I stepped out of the aircraft, and smelled the Bangalore air for the first time in a year, I experienced a feeling of peace and relief one gets on coming home after long. I sighed and walked on.

As I sat in the cab, I reminisced about fond memories of Bangalore. This had been my city for the five years before this. My home, for five years of college. Five formative years. Or five transformative years. And suddenly it had all ended. The dreaded inevitable had happened - I passed out of college.

Calcutta in the past one year and in the eighteen years preceding Bangalore could not make me feel the way I felt for Bangalore. Calcutta had not made me fall in love with it. It was like Calcutta had accepted that I belonged to Bangalore, and had made no attempts to claim me as its own. Now as I sat in the cab, back in Bangalore albeit for a weekend to meet my best friends and surprise one of them on his birthday, I thought of all this.

Meeting best friends after long can have a bizarre butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of feeling till the time you have met them. The feeling increases as the distance left decreases. On meeting the friend, that feeling propels you to scream on the main road, blissfully oblivious of who's watching. And yet, five minutes into the meeting, the senti talk disappears. You feel as if nothing has changed. You feel as if you had had dinner with him only yesterday.

I met the other best friend, surprising whom on his birthday was the both the reason and the excuse for me to visit Bangalore. And the reaction was as expected. But this was just the beginning of nostalgic happiness.

I hadn't sung in months, but suddenly, the sight of the guitar in Jayanth's room, and a couple of pegs of Black and White propelled another action. At this point, we were joined by other friends who were coming from various other parts of this nonsensically large country for the reunion of sorts. We sang, we laughed, we disturbed our fucking neighbours. Pun intended. We were suddenly college goers again.

The next few days were spent partly in doing expensive shit we never did back in college due to paucity of funds. But they were majorly spent in visiting old memories. The college wasn't same anymore; the present students now called me 'Sir' on being introduced. In a college where I had known every name, I couldn't recognize most faces. I saw the terraces I had smoked on, and did so this time too, for the sake of the ritual. On the highest terrace, I sat for long. One can see the Bangalore University from there. The entire view of the west side of Nagarbhavi. I sat and stared for I don't know how long. I knew it was over, and yet the smell of the air was still familiar. My friend, a teacher at the college now, was talking about accepting the break between student life and professional life. We kept reminiscing about the walks we would take inside the Bangalore University campus. I hadn't accepted any such break. Perhaps, I never will.

The most depressing part of the trip was perhaps visiting the crag. If I had the fondest memories of a place from college life, it was this. A flight of steps in a quaint residential area next to college, from where the entire village of Nagarbhavi could be seen. Below it was the highway, and beyond that, our college. To the left of the college were lights of the village, and the well lit airport road. To the right of the college was absolute darkness; the Bangalore University campus. We would go there, our small group of best friends, to spend time, often with cigarettes, and sometimes, pocket money permitting, with alcohol. We would silently sit there for hours, sometimes joking about how there was complete darkness after law school. Little did we know the symbolism of it perhaps. After passing out of college, while dreaming about Bangalore to get out of my dreary life, I had often thought how I would go to crag with my friends someday, and sit there with them in the same way, look at the highway, at time passing by, and feel a sense of satisfaction that all was not over yet. 

So I insisted on visiting the crag this time with my friends. It was all the same, the ride to the crag, the colony, the friends. Just that the crag was not there. It had been filled with heaps of mud due to construction activity nearby. I couldn't see what lay beyond the crag, and this time I got the symbolism. My friends asked me to come away, and yet my heart could not accept this fact. I stood there for long, wishing that the present was a nightmare, like I often wish. It wasn't, and I finally walked away.

There were random visits to the city for lunch and drinks and dinner. Back in college, these visits happened twice a trimester on a shoe-string budget. Yet this time, despite all the opulence, there was a sense of void, an emptiness that the heart knew could never be replenished by time.

The auto ride had become double as expensive as it used to be when I first came to this city six years back. But it had remained as enjoyable and fulfilling as then. The feel of the air brushing against your cheek, sometimes mixed by the dirty odour of K.R. Market below the flyover. The rides were either silent, or musical. Sometimes both. And so they had remained over these years. 

Then I met her. For the last time. She came to join us friends for dinner on the eve of my return. I don't think I could say much to her. I never have been able to. I was happy to gaze dreamily at her while she spoke, like I did in college. She smiled on, giving me a lifetime of photographic memories. I knew in my heart that she had never loved me, much less feel the way I did for her. I knew it all too well. And yet, like all woeful lovers of unrequited love stories, I continue to love her. I knew this was perhaps the last time I was meeting her. She would get married in a few months and I was not strong enough to attend that. I wanted that dinner to not end. I didn't order my dessert, holding my main course plate for a long time, in the anticipation that it would prolong time. But such exploits are hardly successfully resultant. The dinner was over, we hugged a final goodbye and off she went. 

"Might she have loved me? Just as well
She might have hated, who can tell!"
                                                         - Robert Browning, Last Ride Together

We went back to the house to pack, and ended up discussing for yet another time, college. Memories, embarrassing and fond, of the years gone by. We laughed, we cried, we sighed. We promised to meet often, to relive these memories often, to smile again; we were all tired of our monotonous, dull lives.

I hugged my friends for a last time, and felt a tear, and ran quickly inside my car to hide my eyes. Worthless things at happy occasions, tears! As I sat in the cab again, on my way to the airport, I thought about songs of longing, and the hope of getting back, yet again at some point in future. 

Monday, May 7, 2012

Of nonsensical mentalities

I had been thinking about what my new blogpost could be about, and in an 'event-less' life wasn't coming up with anything. But Aamir Khan's Satyamev Jayate, a TV show being aired recently, that talks about social issues in India gives me a reason to blog again.
I must say I was apprehensive about watching it. When I was told it's about social issues, I was like,"Oh, another pseudo show". And I was coerced by my roommate (thankfully) to watch it. I won't write much about the show partly because it's gonna take long, and partly because I want my obscure reader to watch it. Here's the link if you will: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1vASMbEEQc
But there's something I must admit. There has possibly been no instance apart from the present one that a show has ever moved me, and that too so much. The episode started with Aamir talking about why he came up with such an idea. And it then moved on to the topic for the episode: female foeticide. What I felt initially to be just emotional tickling through gory instances moved on to being much more informative. Through various statistical information and talks with doctors, media personnel and social workers, it brought out not just the social realities but also historical and sociological facts to dispense with myths like it happens more in the rural areas, among the rural, uneducated masses of the country. We 'educated' people are often guilty of attributing all that is grotesque in society to lack of education. Data proves it to be quite on the contrary. The show ended with a heart-rending song. Yes, it doesn't make one feel good, but definitely makes him feel it's good - it's good to have an Aamir Khan trying to pull audiences towards knowing and appreciating the realities of an India within an India. It's good to hear logical reasons as to why it concerns all of us. Yes, all of us. However, I'll leave it at that and go no further.
But as Aamir himself points out in the show, this show is also for the youth, to make it decide which way it wants to go, and what sort of society it wants. So I decided to do a little nonsensical survey about youth mentalities. And for that I needed no more apparatus than asking my friends around to watch it. Some (very few) of course said they'd seen it and the initiative's really good, but many others simply laughed at me telling something like this to them. Yes, I have always been thought of as a flamboyant snob who doesn't give a shit about any of this; and I've done nothing to dispense away such myths. I feel I was actually this too perhaps; I enrolled in Hargopal's course I don't know why (for people who don't know Hargopal, he is a professor at the Andhra University, and also the chief spokesperson for the Civil Liberties Movement). I didn't agree with things he said, never gave them a thought, played Angry birds on my mobile all through. Simply because I thought Socialism was a piece of cow-dung. All was good with privatization, and we couldn't expect the Government to be taking care of the health of the elephantine population. All such things. I could never understand why and how Sonal and Ambasta would be moved by such shit!
But something that he said stayed in my mind: till the time we don't think about these social issues, we're fine and in a state of happiness; thinking about them only makes us sadder, which is perhaps a bad thing. 
And in the months to come after his course ended, I began to be increasingly drawn towards appreciating the social problems of the sub-altern and the socially-excluded; as to why India shining was only a label, and as to why Calcutta is so different from the rest of Bengal. One doesn't need Focault/Marx/Chomsky to understand society. One doesn't need to experience everything directly, sometimes, what one sees around can break his notions too. Notions about casteism, about education, about poverty. Even reading can, if we choose to read such stuff that is. Or we can, as Hargopal said, stay in that state of oblivion and be happy for the rest of our lives. 
Which exactly I saw. Some others who I asked to watch the show told me things like, "Some senti crap?" "I know what foeticide and the problem in my country is. I don't need to be told by Aamir Khan" "I have a principled objection against watching senti crap on TV. I'd rather watch 'Twenty-four', or even IPL for that matter". I am no demagogue to sway people by my speech, I am no Tagore to sway you by this writing. Perhaps, even for people at National Law School, it's just about "I don't give a shit". Perhaps, for more youth than I know. I didn't really see people my age on the show too. We're sensible people, we know all about the society to make social workers tell us about it; at any rate, what the fuck can we do about any of it? Why bother?
All I could do is to think what Aamir Khan said - "is this the India the freedom-fighters fought for?" Bhagat Singh was 23, and he did give a shit. But then, who gives a shit about him too? Fool of the first order to not lived his life and nail a chick, and go to the gallows due to some random revolution. Fool not to eat for 65 days. Who the fuck cares? Who the fuck cares about anything?
Much though I wish that this show does bring about a change, if in nothing else than in the mentalities of people, I know that such mentality is not specific to National  Law School. Perhaps it's a function of being educated and urbanized. Perhaps a function of being 'happy', which I doubt how many of us really are, even if we don't give a damn about these issues? We'd like to believe in what Tolstoy had said once: "If you want to be happy, be". So ya, perhaps this show is aimed at convincing the wrong people. But perhaps, there is a section that'd care. Perhaps there is a section of the youth that has read/seen/experienced/thought more than just peripheral aspects of nailing chicks, driving drunk, partying hard and watching 'twenty four'. 
I am not saying any of the above is bad; I'm not cynical. But I do have a problem if we don't think at all. We can choose not to, obviously.
So ya, at any rate, there's sparse support at least from NLS of IU for Mr. Aamir Khan and his stupid show. Perhaps, this is true for other pioneer institutions too. But I'd still be happy if the society at large thinks, if revolution (in any form) is brought about. Even if it means excluding the cream of students, the educated class out. After all, revolution is not the birthright of only the educated. 

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Nonsensical ramblings. Again.

My father told me about his love-life in a by the way manner when I was twelve. (By 'by the way' manner I mean that I was discussing my love life. By 'his love-life' I mean his past love-life. When he was like 28 or something.) After that, he never felt the need to discuss it again. Not through all my years of growing up. It was that unimportant an aspect of his life to him. I wish I were that cool, but then for that I need to be 69 (age, in case you're a pervert) I guess.

We've been taught by our stupid English teachers at school to make paragraphs in a way that they have a continuing link with the previous ones. (By 'stupid English teachers' I mean the ones who teach you what infinitives, gerunds and participles are). But my paragraphs carry no such link. This blog is more like a stream of consciousness (ya I came across this cool thing sometime in my life, which basically gives you a license to write crappy meaningless stuff which have no relation to one another). So, I guess one makes a paragraph for sake of neatness, or discussing a different random thing. I guess one should make a paragraph when he feels like making one.

Oh by the way (I hate pet names and short forms; I refrained from writing 'btw'), if you're that bored and jobless, read Jai Arjun Singh's blogs if you haven't already, rather than reading mine. Google it. Or read Samanth Subramanian's "Following Fish". Flipkart it.

I mostly get to ramble nonsense when there's a lot of work and I don't feel like doing any. But towards the end of fifth year, you're like this unemployed youth looking desperately for work or some reason to exist in life. But there's none to be found. (This phase is transitory, if you've found yourself work to do post college). So now I guess I blog when I feel like it. Rest of the time is spent on vacant thinking. I don't regret it. Came across this quote by John Lennon which says, "If you've enjoyed wasting time, then you haven't wasted it".

I thought I'd write something long and big to kill time. But I can't think of anything now. OKthankyoubai.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Of nonsensical incidents

"Chhoti chhoti baaton ki hain yaadein badi"
- Anand. Bollywood, 1971.

It happens all the time with most of us I guess, that a small incident culled out from the pages of our lives lies ingrained in our memories; we get to live with it staying embedded in our sub-conscience. And such incident, which might sound per se trivial, may still achieve unfathomable importance in the way our lives are shaped.
And it may be any incident, notwithstanding how important it is to the rest of humanity. Something as nonsensical and 'unimportant' as a bus ride perhaps, or an otherwise random college hour.

I have felt this many times, and felt it once more while reading (and falling in love with) Amitav Ghosh's The Shadow Lines. The way the story ends makes you feel that the first thing Ghosh would have thought of while planning to write this novel was its climax, based on an apparently trivial riot that took place in Bengal in the winter of 1964 (on why BENGAL, later). A riot that, in the author's own thoughts, does not find too much of documentation. One has to read the whole story to figure out that the entire novel is centered around, perhaps, this one incident. At least, in all fairness, this is the platform on which the climax is built. And just after having read the novel, it occurred to me that M J Akbar had the same incident in the climax of his novel The Blood Brothers, another favorite of mine .

An incident, that lasted for a few hours on the 10th of January, 1964, in and around Park Circus, Calcutta. Predictably enough, when I asked my father whether he remembered the incident, it took him a while to recollect, and he only ended up commenting, "Ya there was a bit of an incident I remember; but highly localized." Around 14 people had been killed. And the tension had ended the next day with curfew being imposed, and situation being under control.

However, scratching beneath the surface as Ghosh does to reveal the history, the riot was a result of a not-so-important occurrence (in retrospect of course) in Kashmir, whose repercussions were felt in Khulna, Bangladesh, in a most unexpected manner. Riots began, shops were burnt down, and the disturbance had spread to other parts of Bangladesh in no time; and yet none of all this had been considered important enough by the the newspapers in India (as Ghosh points out in the novel) to be given much news space.

And the turbulence had spilled over to the other side of Bengal, howbeit for a day; as if there were no borders separating the two places, as if they were but just Shadow Lines.

In the novel too, it surprises the narrator's friends when he tells them that the most important childhood memory of his was not the war with China, but a stray incident that he had witnessed as a child, of which he gives a first hand account. A happening, which he finds difficult to trace in the papers, let alone books being written on it, unlike the China war. And yet he has witnessed the horribly fateful day; the tension, the rioting, the death that took place in Dhaka where a relative of his was killed. Akbar narrates the same incident as a memory etched out of his boyhood, when he had lost a dear friend in the riot, and how horrible the face of it all had seemed.

And yet, I was told, the riot was for a day. Actually, just a few hours. And in just a part of Calcutta. What makes it the most memorable incident then? More memorable than a war, followed closely by another? As the narrator in Ghosh's novel tells his friends, all the war didn't happen at their doorsteps, this one riot did at his.

Life is not one long unbroken journey, but a string of short, sometimes nonsensical, trips clustered and strung together. An incident thus documented by these authors, which gives a feeling of how deeply it had perhaps affected their boyhood. Even against the weightiest of proofs, I would disagree that the descriptions were a result of mere research, and not a pictorial reproduction of a childhood recollection, that has shaped their lives in a way that they could write an entire novel which would have the event, a nonsensical, insignificant riot as a central point, and not the war with Pakistan or China.

Perhaps I understand the reason why. Because this one incident impacted their lives from much closer than a war which was being fought at a macro political level could have. Perhaps, remembering the turbulent happenings of a day are much easier than of an entire period. Deduction: a shorter occurrence has a harder impact.

Arundhati Roy had perhaps tried to convey a similar message in The God of Small Things, or Jhumpa Lahiri in Interpreter of Maladies. Not just short stories, even novels come out of small incidents I feel. Incidents, to which we, consciously or otherwise, add detail, spice and colour. Incidents which mean different things to different people, and might impact them differently too.

My mother interrupted me while my father was telling me about those riots, of what he remembered of them. She butted in, saying, "Ya, i remember how there was news of women being dragged by their hair and raped in Khulna, and how Nehru had remained silent on the issues of the Bengali women. That year when Nehru had died, pishomoshai had celebrated by having mutton curry. I was a child then, but I remember".

At that moment, I sneered at her, exclaiming how it didn't matter here what her pishomoshai did. As I write this now, I realize how this was her own bit of small, nonsensical, important detail.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

nonsensical attempt at quasi-limericks

Sees so much now, sees it all,

Humpty-dumpty sat on a wall.

Sees time past, sees you then,

A golden egg each day by some stupid hen.

Sees time fly away from all of us,

There was a carpenter, and a walrus.

Sees moments slip away like sand,

Alice got kinda fucked in Wonderland.

Sees people with no time to spare,

Goldilocks had awesome curly hair.

Sees love and hate, hope and despair,

Jack and Jill were the worst ever pair.

Sees time past, now too far,

Go on twinkling, stupid star.

Sees happiness and peace and a silver-lining,

Cinderella got lucky enough to marry a king.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

tripping on nonsencial quotes

I intend not much more than to reproduce stuff from everyday observation; every bit of it is attributable to perpetual boredom.
  1. Hindi Commentary during a Cricket match
With the world cup season setting in, a broken leg prohibiting me from venturing out, stupid Pakistani, Sri Lankan or Bangladeshi cricketers sitting as English commentators, and an unfailing respect for trippy stuff, i tuned in to the channel which had Hindi commentators narrating the match. And I thank God for all this, for I would never have had discovered such gems otherwise. I won't translate, the feel would be lost. Actually, even a written description doesn't capture the entire fun; the poetic fashions of delivery are something to be heard in person and not in hear say.

  • (The ball's given to a new bowler): "Bowler ko dekhke lagtaa nahi hai ki woh kabhi wicket le sakte hain". (Incidentally, the bowler did take a wicket the very next ball.)
  • (On a run-out appeal to the third umpire; the batsman smiled a little 'cause he perhaps knew he wasn't out): "Batsman itna jo muskura rahe hain, kya gham hai jisko chhupa rahe hain".
  • (Sri Lanka was losing to Pakistan): "Sri Lanka sharaab mein gham ko pee jayegi aaj."
  • (A Pakistani batsman hits a boundary): "Iss ballebaaz ne chunauti sweekaar kar lee hai ki ab sab ko chun chun ke maarunga."
  • (18 runs needed off the last over for the Lankans): "Yahi kahaa jaa saktaa hai ki picture abhi baaki hai mere dost."
  • (A review of an LBW appeal is made to the third umpire): "Abhi doodh ka doodh aur paani ka paani ho jayega".
  • (Zaheer Khan has just picked up 2 welcome wickets for India): "England ki team soch rahi hai ki kya ho gaya...kya se kya ho gaya...".
  • (Lasith Malinga had taken a wicket in the last ball of an over; takes 2 in the first two balls of the next. The Hindi commentator is obviously ignorant of the fact that this qualifies as a hat-trick): "Iss bowler ne toh batsman ki raaton ki neend aur din ka chayn le liya hai.....ab teesri ball, Malinga hat-trick par" (just then the board shows that Malinga has taken a hat-trick): "balki Malinga ne toh hat-trick le lee hai... ab samajh mein aaya ki audience mein itne jashn ka mahaul kyun chhaya hua hai."
  • (So there's this Canadian bowler of Pakistani origin, who is bowling quite well against Pakistan): "Jis desh mein unka janam hua hai, aaj usi desh ko pareshan kar rahe hain ye bowler."
There are more, which I can't remember. Inputs will very hopefully be added as this world cup season progresses.



Sunday, November 28, 2010

nonsensical ramifications of a lazed out mind

The period post project submissions at law school. I love this time, when there's just no pressure, no work, nothing to look forward to and around second trimester, more so; there are no fests happening, no exams ensuing. A time which could be well spent in whichever activity you want. For me, it's contemplation, more than anything else. For some people like Ambasta, this time of the trimester is a bitch; such people need work, projects, something to keep themselves occupied. For me, I stranglely love it when life has no surprises to spring, there's no element of excitement; I am quite a dullhead to be thrilled with such ideas of spontaneity.
Thankfully though, Sonal had asked me to read this book called "English, August", which I am still reading. I am quite slow at the business of reading, though I quite like it (however, I despise being the avid, voracious, pseudo-intellectually hungry reader). Abhishek Sinha, a quack palmist, had once seen my hand and said, " You see the multiple lines jutting out of that main middle line? It's an indication that you can't think of one thing at a time. You think of a number of things at the same time. Also an indication that you are very analytical; while we notice one particular thing, you notice various things in that one thing." I had for some strange reason, loved it. More so, related to it. Much like I had felt like when Suhas had written a testimonial in Orkut, years ago, and describing me had said, "More at ease with Tagore's world than today's dog-eat-dog world." I more often appreciate people who somehow see sides of me which most others cannot.
Sonal, while persuading me to read the book had said, "You will identify yourself with the protagonist Agastya; the guy doesnt know what on earth he's doing being an IAS officer in a godawful dot called Madna, he smokes up, has weird sexual fantasies, likes Rabindrasangeet....."
I was quite fascinated, again. The idea of relating myself to some character seemed nice. And it's a splendidly written book. Every line is interesting. The guy, August, especially is a treat to read. Disdainful, disinterested disillusioned. I could see shades of me. But all the same I knew that Agastya in normal life was what I am in my private life. Strangely reticent, not bothered, weirdly fantastic. Thus, I knew that a lot of people wouldn't agree when I'd tell them that I could identify with the character. "Please", said Ambasta, "you're nothing like him."
I knew that the world knew, or thought it knew me; I won't blame it. That's what I am in public life. Funny, entertaining, stupidly nautankic.
However, I would probably have loved the life which August had disdain for. I would have loved the idea of staying at a place where I was a stranger to everybody. I would not have the botheration of family, friends, acquaintances. I'd loved those three days at staying at Tangail in Bangladesh. A small village. My internship with Grameen Bank had seemed dull in Dhaka, which was an extended version of Dankuni or Nagarbhavi to me; God alone knows what made it the Capital of a country. But anyways, Bangladesh. But Tangail had new shades to offer. I could relate to the way Agastya was reverred by people. I had experienced some part of it during my 3-day stay in that village. The manager was mesmirised by the fact that I came from Calcutta, was city-educated, in an English medium school, and was studying law in Bangalore. His reaction was like people in Indian suburbs have when they hear from NRI acquaintances in the US. The villagers understood nothing of it. But I was some sort of a babu, and they felt some sort of obligation to rever and be in awe. So they were.
I could relate to it all. I could also feel a sort of joy Agastya might have felt, despite the so-called disillusionment towards the people. I liked Agastya's contemplative self, and the things that went on in his mind, from finding Mrs. Srivastava sexy to loathing a forced meeting with a college acquaintance.
My phone rang. Dad. "I hope you are not on the roof smoking. You know your voice is in such bad state that you can't even speak. Get well, and then you can resume."
"No. I'm not smoking." I lied to him.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

nonsensical intellectual masturbation

Law school is perhaps a queer place. We call each other pseudos, we slime, we bitch about, like women (even men {I am an MCP}). And we take part in discussions which we think are illuminating, which make us different from other 'dumb' people, who do not participate in the same. Such discussions may take place, even if wehave exams the next day; we cannot leave opportunities like these. We HAVE to prove ourselves superior to other universities, other people of our age, but most importantly, to prove ourselves as better than the person we are 'debating' against. We have to argue till he succumbs to our logic, and the problem here is, the other party thinks that too. Good that SDGM prohibits causing bodily injury, otherwise methinks most of these discussions would have ended in fights.
I am just reminded of Indian Coffee House, Calcutta. You say adda is a bong phenomenon?
We can go to any extent to make ourselves win, from quoting non-existent 'scientific proofs' and Supreme Court judgements (and all parties have such authorities to cite from, and debates may just turn away from the main topic, and move on to which authority is better), to being loud enough to suppress the other. We come up with weird notions, perhaps ones we wouldn't have believed in at some other point in time, but right now, we need to rebut the other, so any point which does that, is good.
Whats more, we believe that such discussion is beneficial, since we are lawyers, we need to talk in hypersensitive ways; we aint egotists, we actually believe that all this is constructive. We forget to sleep, and forget that other people need to sleep. Debate zindabaad.
"All we are saying, is give peace a chance" - John Winston Ono Lennon

Thursday, October 14, 2010

the nonsensically nostalgic city

"Dabangg was such a let down!"...Yes, my paara friends refused to believe that such a movie could be made just for the sake of trippiness; to trip on the nonsense the 90s had produced. They still have no idea that people are beyond that phase, and poke fun at it. Quite simply because they aren't. They have not moved on; nor has their city, my city, the city of joy and of palaces.
Calcutta (and we still unanimously refuse to call it Kolkata, or as outsiders would pronounce, Call-kataa) is stuck, in the 70s, the 60s, perhaps even further, in the 50s. It is difficult though to fathom whether the city is stuck in that era, or simply reminisces the beauty that it possessed back then. Be that as it may. That era, where it saw the intelligentsia. The dhuti wearing babu, moving with those patented black rimmed glasses, with a bag tucked under his underarm, and a pen decked in his half-shirt. Or the poet, baatik kurta clad, sporting a beard, sitting alone, sipping coffee at the Indian Coffee House on College Street, and writing down wonderful pieces, with no hopes of succeeding at getting them published. Or the bekaar fellow, chatting away in incessant, non-constructive adda sessions, with fellow accompanists.
The thought of the loser poet urges me to make the observation that there is still a white board at the coffee house called the 'voice of the mass' or some such thing, and where you can write any random thing, ANYTHING. It is just that the mass have become conscious enough not to dirty the city; even the board remains clean.
But people still refer to Mother Teresa Sarani as Park Street, and Shakespeare Sarani as Theatre Road. Bongs are proud Anglophiles. Breakfast tables at Flurys still thrive with Anglos, and the SS Hogg market is still the New Market; my grandfather was in his childhood taught to refer to the market by that name. There still exists the Golbari where the mutton kasha tastes exactly the same it did forty years back; the entrepreneurs have made it a point to pass on the legacy. Big cinema halls still run at profits, despite mushrooming multiplexes.
The scent of Pujas still brings people of all communities close; we don't give a fuck about fundamentalism. Much as we give a damn to work, labour and the fruits of it; Bandhs are still relished, no matter whoever calls it.
You can still wear polka dotted shirts and pink shades, and I bet you won't get the attention that you are seeking. People are that cool with the 70s.
There still exists the middle class.
Not to say that LPG has not touched the city; just that it has not eaten into the nostalgic aura. Everything here remains, well, happily primitive if you will. The city of nostalgia remains happily embedded in its state, wishing luck to metropolises which compete for flaunting modernity.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

not necessarily nonsense

For all those people who think that the Bollywood industry is a forum of fools, and is just a way of entertaining life when you have no better, please read on. Others interested may kindly do the same.
The first image that would come to one's mind when the word Bollywood's uttered is probably that of a girl running between trees playing catch-me-if-you-can with her boyfriend, while some songs go on in the background, describing the naughtiness, the beauty, the happiness, and love. The scene would be in some hill-station probably. Or perhaps to yet others, the word that would simultaneously ring in their ears along with Bollywood would be 'dhishoom dhishoom'. These are certain commonly ascribed, commonly accepted perspectives.
And yet, just a rethink would reveal what my mother would tell me films are: "samaaj ka darpan", or reflection of the society.
The 50s' films (at least many of them), for example, were characterised by the commonly perceived social problems and issues. While a Raj Kapoor movie would go on to show the image of a village boy, migrating to the city in search of a job and getting lost under the big city lights, films like Naya Daur and Upkar conveyed the aspirations of the youth of a young India. Dev Anand's Baazi shows a guy who takes the other route, since the normal one doesn't promise him a future. The country was poor then, much poorer than it is now; the people still uneducated, unemployed. Social welfare schemes had not set in. Guru Dutt portrayed yet another side of society and urban culture through films like Pyaasa and Kaagaz Ke Phool.
Mother India was a reflection of so many issues the society was burning with - absence of banking, lack of faith in the judicial system, landlordism, problems of a panchayat system, lack of education, lack of healthcare, the general status of women, lack of irrigation facilities, social support and so on. Yet the film ends on a note which shows irrigation, greenery, hope.
The 60s were the happy eras, globally, for whatever reason. Though there was the China War, which stirred things up a bit. One just has to see Haqeeqat or Hum Dono or some such film to get that feel.
However, despite such tinges of black and white, we generally see colours, not just on screen but even in the dresses people wore, the songs that were sung. Happy-go-lucky, relatively tension-free times. The youth seemed to be bubbling with a dash of new hope and energy. Those were the days of romance, of Shammi Kapoor and then Rajesh Khanna.
Enter 70s, rather mid-seventies. A term seemed to have entered the Indian social dictionary- 'Naxalism'. A war had been fought with Pakistan, and won. But an internal war was happening, and Mrs. Gandhi had the emergency in force (see Aandhi, 1976). There was now the educated, disgruntled, unemployed youth, born a little before independence, and thinking, "This is what independence has given me?" And therefore, people could so well relate to the term "Angry Young Man" the moment it was coined. Amitabh Bachchan had become a superhero suddenly. Society clung to his character. There is in fact a scene in Deewaar where Shashi Kapoor comments on how the world has turned into a third class compartment, with passengers far outnumbering the number of seats available. The film shows how one brother goes on to become a smuggler and the other a cop; yet both want to fight poverty, howbeit in their own ways.
The hero was now more often than not a police inspector, resolving to fight all evil, all the smugglers, the people who stole away social wealth.
Gloomy? Not always. Those were still days of contentment, with the middle class existing in its own happy world. Hrishikesh Mukherjee never made a movie which was not believable. Amol Palekar was once asked recently, "You were once the image of the middle class guy. Where has that image disappeared these days?", to which he replied, "Where do you think the middle class has disappeared these days?"
The 80s grew a bit darker. The era of art films; people insisted on seeing more of reality, even if it wasn't pleasing. Naseeruddin Shah, Raj Babbar and Om Puri played characters just out of everyday pages of society; footnote: Khandahar, Katha, Sparsh et al. Those were the days of Shabana and Smita. Feminism was beginning to find its niche. Rajesh Khanna pioneered in showing through films like Avtar and Amrit how the middle class man had begun considering his parents a liability. He could not sustain them anymore. His wife was learning to have demands, he loved her. His parents could be sent to an old-age home, because the home now needed place for the washing machine and the television. I just hope that people who've seen those times would relate to what I am writing, and not consider me anti-feminist, and thus read on. Kader Khan and Govinda movies carried this tradition into the late 80s. There was perhaps a need of a superhero too. A different kind. A saviour of mankind from social villains. There was a need for a Mr. India.
The 90s saw the development of the youth. The chocolate boy looks would work this time, since the hero was no longer a man, but a boy, a school/college goer. An Aamir Khan, A Shahrukh Khan. Privatisation was setting in. People had enough. Prices had not risen much. No war had been fought. This was time for love. Society was responding positively to privatisation, Bryan Adams and English movies. College-goers began modelling themselves up as lover-boys. India had been independent for a long time now. Things were probably balanced if you had a job. And college was the hub of love.
Something changed in the middle of this millenium. Something urged society to think on lines it had not explored. In came the issues of globalisation, of nuclear families, gay rights, of Life in a Metro, of the Fashion or the Corporate world. The modern society had to identify itself with the modern DevD. Society would no longer be just cheesy. The youth would be equally receptive to a Rang De Basanti as it would be to Dil Chahta Hai. Three Idiots and Taare Zameen Par held out yet other problems like cut throat competition and parental aspirations. Such is the demand for showing reality that even SRK had to do a Swades, and what's more, this gesture was appreciated.
Offbeat films which show some sense go well with the metro crowd, while the suburb and mofussil areas still identify with lovers and stuntman heroes and cheap humour. Education and realistion of the ill-effects of a privatised economy have not reached a mass that is yet to experience all such effects. Yet the prediction is that all this won't stay for long. But courtesy new problems, new issues like terrorism etc., a new superhero is required, who has all the qualities to be the world's Krissh, to save the world, with absoltely nothing stopping him.
I nowhere suggest that there have not been films which bear no image of the society, and such films could have been made in any era, for entertainment sake. It is just that Bollywood has in its own way, knowingly or otherwise, conveyed social messages and aspirations over the years. It has not been a world of just dhishoom dhishoom and the loser lover.

Monday, June 28, 2010

jobless nonsense

I very candidly accept that I love the feel of sheer joblessness which the scent of vacations promises. Courtesy my advertised 'hectic' schedule, my parents tend not to interfere with my state of inertia, nowadays even to the limit of not asking me to have a haircut or meet my relatives. I have the bliss of the television, books, music, food, scotch, and the internet. In all, everything that makes life so less complaining. I have all the time in the world to think about insubstantial things; to think about not thinking about anything at all.
This reminds of similar thematic poems: Robert Frost's "Two tramps in mud time", Wordsworth's "Daffodils", "Leisure" by William Henry Davies (i don't know who he is; had to surf the net to find out the poem's author). A common contemplation in these poems is about the abundance of time, and its multifarious benefits. And so true are they!
Ma, still sometimes, pesters me quite hard to meet my friends, and calls me an introvert (which I vehemently object) for not doing so. She is, rightfully, more bothered than I. There are these times when you feel that even two is crowd and not company. Call this being 'loner-like' if you will; methinks there's nothing wrong in that. I feel it's an effort to carry myself over to meet some goddamn friend, and in the process get drenched in Calcutta humidity; too much of an effort!! Not that I don't love those friends and reunions, but it's a question of prioritizing things; I do precisely the same. The joy of reading Jawaharlal or listening to the baritone voice of Don Williams scores over matters like meeting mortals. And YES - THE HARMONIUM!! Damn dolts who don't know the pleasure one can derive out of a musical instrument! Doing these things makes me forget that my results are not out, and that corp law is still waiting to sting me in the ass.
I become a 'recluse' and retire to the AC bedroom; dad is so cool, he cannot tolerate AC's much, and yet has them fitted in for a member of the family who comes over to stay here during intermittent vacations. I sometimes feel that I lose out on hanging around with my parents. Perhaps having a drink with Dad or bonding with Ma in the kitchen in just not enough. And i know I would feel it all the more once I am back at NLS. I feel for the poor old woman who cries over the phone saying how much she misses her son, and cooks absolutely splendid meals during his stay. And what does the wretched son do? "Ma, leave me alone. I am doing things you won't ever learn to appreciate". There's this lawyer who toils hard to get his son happiness. And doesn't complain even when that asshole refuses to accompany him to the bazaar, and chooses to spend the hour shitting. No, I do not intend this blog to be a repentance speech, which clears my heart. I just wanted to write some nonsense about the pros (and subconsciously also wrote the flip side) of being absolutely jobless during these much desired and deserved vacations. And I guess this narrative's already long enough.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

the nonsensical law school

So there was this student, certain years ago, who, despite being a 'lawskulite', had ventured to do an internship with Prof. Balgopal, a social activist in his own right; and what's more, was all praises for him on returning. Prof. Madhava Menon, the founder of our institution retorted, "It is you who have to make a choice, whether to be Balgopal, or KK Venugopal". He left it at that. Lawschool conveniently added AMSS, Luthra, CC et al.

And yet, the mandate of this 'premier institution' was, in fact is, to increase the quality of the Bar and the Bench, or something to that effect. Professors here boast of the first ten 'glorious' batches; we guys seem to have lost it. I do not want to get into petty controversies by naming people, but they seem to be primarily proud of facts like some alumnus is partner, AMSS, or someone at some other law/corp firm. These are the guys who've made lawschool what it is. Rank 1. Something NALSAR aspires for, other colleges don't even do that.
But I ask it to myself, what is the significance of Numero Uno? We earn handsome salaries, and it ends at that? I guess the first ten batches were better not because of what they have achieved, but because of what they aspired for. Recent batches come to law school with clear, defined aims of a high CGPAs, stunning internships, moot competitions, client counseling, anything that looks studly on the CV to procure them a lucrative offer at the end of fourth year. Not because they wanna learn the law and love it. Oh yes, these are idealistic aims. But then, why have such mandates? Then why have "Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high" as the cherished value? What is all this if not idealism?
And what does NLS teach us? To work with given deadlines, to crib about it all, to digest volumes of reading material courtesy a packed-up curriculum; in short to make us all 'studly'. But definitions differ. Does this institution create any social studs? No. It is supposed to create legal ones. Apparently, intense workload does that. Or does it? And also give rise to depression due to increased repeats? And also an intense drug culture?
But why should NLS be bothered? This is the oh so negligible deviant behavior, which perhaps has no correlation with the workload? The institution asks, "Why did you join if you can't take it?"
I submit, "Why did you have mandates you don't believe in?"
I do not wish to sound like a Ranchoddas of 3 Idiots, but sometimes, one can't help asking. Where is all this going? What are we proud of? Pay packets? Only pay packets? We anyways leave those jobs after 3 years. Alas, even 5 intense years of rigorous workload at law school (four at least) do not seem successful in helping us tackle pressure; we get tired of it. Yes, after making money, agreed.
I remember Prof. Rahul Singh telling us once, that medals and all that stuff one aspires for doesn't really matter at the end of it; it doesn't really take one anywhere. This, from an alumnus who was one of those great studs our institution has proudly produced over the years.
What else do we learn? Courses like Law, Poverty and Development seek to educate us with the problems engulfing society today. The course acquaints us with problems, perhaps solutions too. It aims at encouraging us to serve the society in some way. We, by virtue of being the 'cream of law students' are perhaps better equipped to do that. Perhaps not, mentality wise. We are done with all that no sooner than we scam the course at the end of three months. How many of us actually do anything for the society post passing out, or fight for human rights? Even the ones who are ostensibly so shocked after watching documentaries upholding the naked truth? What do post-viewing class discussions lead to? Does the work stop at realization? How many of us work for ideals we believe in? Rather, how many of us believe in any ideals? Or do we just equate chumma subjects like LPD and HR and Socio as Scams we've gotta pull off?
Which brings me to another important point. SCAM. I'm not sure whether the word is an invention of this place, but ya, 'faff' seems like one. We do all that. During projects, during vivas, during exams, in fact, wherever we can; even for attendance make-ups.
Are we to blame? I daresay not. What is it we are aiming to achieve by rigorous attendance? Physical attendance seldom coincides with its mental counterpart. And this is visible; one just has to go and attend a class. I won't even urge you to do that during project time, lest you get disappointed with the approach of students towards learning. Learning if I may say, is not a bitter medicine, which you thrust down the throat of a student; even if he is studying at National Law School.
A lot of papers have this tendency of being long, deliberately so. We are better than the rest, that should reflect even in our handwriting speeds. Does a brilliant handwriting speed have anything to do with legal education? Or legal practice in the long run?
Smoking on the terrace used to be permitted unofficially. People were cool with that; would go to the roof to smoke. But hello, isn't smoking supposed to be bad? A crime? And just like attempt to suicide is contemplated as an offence under the IPC, smoking was sought to be banned. Prohibited. So we smoke in our rooms, lest we are caught on the roof. Institution: "You want to smoke, go out of the gate and smoke. But yes, even if you want to do that, you cannot possess cigarettes; you've gotta go out, buy a cigarette and then smoke. Possession of cigarettes is a 'deemed' offence." When law is stringent, it can seldom be enforced.
I seem to have been 'bitching about' and 'sliming' my institution (These words are so commonly used here, you cannot do without them). That, I clarify, is not my intention; nor is it to project stark , depressing realities. It is just that the shortcomings of this institution make me re-think about the ideals embedded here, about the ideals I joined this place for, about the ideals society is dying to see in students like us.